Clean food jokes to lighten and brighten up your day!
I believe that there are 2 things which can really put off the stress out in a day's of work & tire, food and jokes! You know what they say, Laughter is the best medicine!
Pillsbury Dough Boy Dead At 71
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, The California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and The Hostess Twinkies.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers.
He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 4:50 for about 20 minutes.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers.
He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 4:50 for about 20 minutes.
Elephant Stew
Serves: about 380 people. Ingredients: 1 large Elephant, Salt and pepper to taste, 2 medium Rabbits (optional). Preparation: Cut up Elephant into bite size pieces.(Takes about 2 Months). Add brown gravy to cover. Cook about four weeks at 465 degrees over a hot fire. Special Note: For larger groups, add 2 Rabbits, but only if necessary as most people don't like to find hare in their stew.
Flakey Murder
Two police officers respond to a crime scene behind a grocery store. The homicide detective is already there.
"What happened?" asks the first officer.
"Male, about twenty-five, covered in Raisin Bran and dead as a doornail."
"Good grief," says the second officer. "Didn't we have one covered in Frosted Flakes yesterday? And Captain Crunch last week?"
"You're right. I'm afraid," said the detective as he took a drag from his cigar, "this is the work of a cereal killer."
Serves: about 380 people. Ingredients: 1 large Elephant, Salt and pepper to taste, 2 medium Rabbits (optional). Preparation: Cut up Elephant into bite size pieces.(Takes about 2 Months). Add brown gravy to cover. Cook about four weeks at 465 degrees over a hot fire. Special Note: For larger groups, add 2 Rabbits, but only if necessary as most people don't like to find hare in their stew.
Flakey Murder
Two police officers respond to a crime scene behind a grocery store. The homicide detective is already there.
"What happened?" asks the first officer.
"Male, about twenty-five, covered in Raisin Bran and dead as a doornail."
"Good grief," says the second officer. "Didn't we have one covered in Frosted Flakes yesterday? And Captain Crunch last week?"
"You're right. I'm afraid," said the detective as he took a drag from his cigar, "this is the work of a cereal killer."
Subject: Security Notification to all recipehut.com Employee
We've just been notified by Security that there have been 6 suspected terrorists working out of our kitchen. Five of the six have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin', Bin Loafin', Bin Goofin', Bin Lunchin' and Bin Drinkin' have been taken into custody.
Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the sixth cell member, Bin Workin', in our Kitchen. Security is confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin' will be very easy to spot.
You are obviously not a suspect at this time.
We've just been notified by Security that there have been 6 suspected terrorists working out of our kitchen. Five of the six have been apprehended. Bin Sleepin', Bin Loafin', Bin Goofin', Bin Lunchin' and Bin Drinkin' have been taken into custody.
Security advised us that they could find no one fitting the description of the sixth cell member, Bin Workin', in our Kitchen. Security is confident that anyone who looks like he's Bin Workin' will be very easy to spot.
You are obviously not a suspect at this time.
How to Bake a Cake with a Baby in the House
·Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients. ·Remove blocks and toy autos from table. ·Grease pan, crack nuts. ·Measure two cups flour; ·Remove baby's hands from flour, wash flour off baby. ·Re-measure flour. ·Put flour, baking powder, salt in sifter. ·Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on floor. ·Get another bowl. ·Answer doorbell. ·Return to kitchen.·Remove baby's hands from bowl. ·Wash baby. ·Answer phone. ·Return. ·Remove 1/4 inch salt from greased pan. ·Look for baby. ·Grease another pan. ·Answer telephone. ·Return to kitchen and find baby. ·Remove baby's hands from bowl. ·Take up greased pan, find layer of nutshells in it. ·Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table. ·Wash kitchen floor, table, wall, dishes. ·Call baker. ·Lie down.
·Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients. ·Remove blocks and toy autos from table. ·Grease pan, crack nuts. ·Measure two cups flour; ·Remove baby's hands from flour, wash flour off baby. ·Re-measure flour. ·Put flour, baking powder, salt in sifter. ·Get dustpan and brush up pieces of bowl baby knocked on floor. ·Get another bowl. ·Answer doorbell. ·Return to kitchen.·Remove baby's hands from bowl. ·Wash baby. ·Answer phone. ·Return. ·Remove 1/4 inch salt from greased pan. ·Look for baby. ·Grease another pan. ·Answer telephone. ·Return to kitchen and find baby. ·Remove baby's hands from bowl. ·Take up greased pan, find layer of nutshells in it. ·Head for baby, who flees, knocking bowl off table. ·Wash kitchen floor, table, wall, dishes. ·Call baker. ·Lie down.
Lame but some still tickled you, didn't they?
Have a smiley day! (>o,<)
